Menunda2 sesuatu yg penting itu nggak baik, dan hari ini gw kena batunya. Maunya pergi ke Bandung dgn tenang pake kereta sore, nggak taunya malah dapat kereta malam. Itupun nyaris kehabisan tiket. Gw lupa kalo besok libur nyampe 3 hari, makanya banyak org yg mudik. Jadilah Gambir kemarin malam ramai luar biasa. Tiket2 pada habis. Masih untung gw dapat tiket argo gede terakhir, kalo nggak harus naik bus lg ke bandung.

Setelah memohon2, akhirnya gw bisa ambil sertifikat TOEFL hari sabtu. Buat bapak2 yg udah bela2in piket sabtu di UPT Bahasa ITB, hatur nuhun …

Omong2 soal nilai TOEFL, nggak terlalu jelek. 553 udah di atas standar buat S2 di ITB atau beberapa Univ di Jepang. Benar jg perkiraan gw, nilai yg anjlok ada di listening. Gara2nya, gw sempat ngelamun pas ujian listening comprehension . Padahal yg paling penting pas listening tu konsentrasi. Pikiran melayang sedikit aja, lewat dah ….

And now, what should i do then ?? Should i continue to pursue my dream ? Or i just stop here ? Stop here and live my daily life again ?

If i continue, there will be some consequences.

First, i might (or have to) lose my current job as a full-time programmer. Actually, i’ve been "lectured" by my bosses, a few days ago, for not beeing professional at work for this 2 weeks. They said that my performance has dropped significantly, compared to the 1st year. Well, i can’t say anything that time. It’s true. But i couldn’t help it. To take a TOEFL test in ITB, you have to register it personally. It means that you have to go to bandung on work days, from monday through friday. So it will take at least 2 days. Then i have to study before the test, take a trip to bandung etc, it will spend more time. That’s why, i can’t work normally in this 2 weeks. I’ve so exhausted.

Second, i should change my life and find another job. Go back to BPPT ? it might be possible. At least i’ll have a scientific job. But, what about the salary ? There’s no guarantee that i’ll be payed as much as i’ve got now. Below 1 million rupiahs ? I can’t live in Jakarta with such low sallary.

What should i do then ? It just give me a headache to think about it now.